Friday, September 29

Happy birthday, Shennie.

My manfriend had a birthday yesterday, now X years old. I say X because I'm not good with ages. (Just last week, I was able to tell someone I was 27 year old and Shen actually gasped out loud "WOW you know how old you are!" -  it was a moment.)

I did quite well for myself considering I am well, myself. For all the times of forgetting important dates and failing to make plans for personal life aka him, this time I a) remembered his birth date (Okay I may or may not have been prompted); b) made a nice dinner reservation NOT on the day itself; c) bought a present (something he actually really wanted) which thankfully arrived a few hours before dinner (so I asked him to come over to my house after dinner to take it.. still wrapped in postal tape with my address label) (did I also mentioned that dinner was across my office) (Haha sometimes even I cannot believe myself).

And even though it really wasn't much at all, Shen kept letting me know right till the very end that he was so happy and having the best time just because it was spending time with me. *CRIES* This kindness and niceness and sweetness is something I still can't quite handle and makes me go eeeek. Funny that it's on his special day that I feel special too.

Happy birthday, Tan Wei Shen. Let us always celebrate #thelittlebigthings together.

Wednesday, September 13

Honne — Tatemae

2017 has not been the year of Mariam. Possibly the furthest ever in my time on Earth.

I think it has to do with my perspective of time  what it means to have it, what it might mean lose it; what I've done with it, what I should or could be doing with it; the direct correlation of others' time and mine. The past three quarters have really halted me and I'm eager to not be in pause anymore. I think. Maybe eager is not the word. But definitely keen.

And because I've been in limbo for long, taking that next step to correct this (my) state and make a plan for what's next is daunting me.  I am delayed - though who or what is setting the pace, I don't know. Maybe I just need to give myself time to shake this, everything, off and come into my own again.


Also today is a H O N N E kind of day. Vibes all day.

Monday, August 28


This year has been an unexpected and perhaps unwelcomed season of change and uncertainty. I've dealt with this by going to the salon more times than I have the past six years. At least. 

And this weekend,  I accidentally had my hair cut way shorter than I was ready for. So of course, this is a moment for my teenage blog. 

I have to be up in five hours for a day of back to back events. 

Friday, June 30

Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (at Twenty Seven)

About 45 minutes ago, I was overcome by an intense urge to listen to Broken Social Scene and naturally, I had to revisit a YouTube favourite - this particular 2009 live performance of Anthems:

I was scrolling through the comments and this one pretty much summed it up:

i come here every so often just to watch three gorgeous talented women jumping about with the wind blowing through their hair.  There are certain songs throughout your life that you remember with profound sadness or happiness..this is both.
I'm obviously at a different place (as a different or same person?) in my life than when that song first had value for me. Now at 27 years old, listening to this song for the first time in ages a while ago, a new perspective of the song came to me. She's singing about herself, about me, about right now, about ten years ago.

I think I found the words, the melody, the thought of what I've been feeling this year. Who knew I'd be the sort of person with feelings about being in my late twenties.

(ALSO. It turns out they're putting out their first album in seven years in a couple of days. *UNIVERSE*)

Wednesday, July 27

"Last published on May 27, 2015" is what this dashboard says. A year and two months ago!

This is a really odd time for me to be checking into my teenage Internet World. But it's a freezing office day on a scorching afternoon, my nose is blotchy and blocked for the sixth day, I have a meeting in 20 minutes but also two media releases and two massive communications plans to start and finish within the next 24 hours. Also an event first thing tomorrow morning. And other pretending-its-not-important-but-they-really-are deadlines. My mind is on exclusively on though.

So now felt as good a time as any.

Wednesday, May 27


I had a birthday last week, and turned 25 years old. 

Amsterdam, Netherlands / Spring, 2015

I think it was when I turned 20 that I started this personal affirmation (a mantra, if you will, sometimes) — I have it all. In times of perceived downs, this has really helped to keep things in perspective and keep me going. 

I live in a beautiful home with a loyal, lovely, and supportive family. I am in loving and stable relationship with the most kind man. I enjoy a dynamic career with an award-winning dream team that I adore. I am blessed to have the most wonderful and diverse friends who bring me joy and wisdom. I am able to financially support myself, and in my little ways help my parents too. I have the opportunity to see the world then return to a vibrant and safe city that I am proud to call home. I am healthy; and as best as possible, so are my loved ones. Also, I got my a manicure today. 

The celebrations have been sweet so far, and it's not over yet! Hehe. May always proves to be a month to remember, and an opportune time to take a deep breath and count my blessings. 

So at a quarter of a century (ugh #old), I'd like to think I have a lot of things going on for me and if I keep at it, it can only get better. Here's to me and everyone along on these crazy times with me then, now, and next.

Blog more next time xx 

Sunday, May 17

6 years of Shen & Em

Shen & Em / Aberdeenshire, Scotland / Spring, 2015

One weekend earlier this year, we were driving on the CTE on the way to town for something or the other (rare, we hardly leave this side of the island) when Shen suddenly said, "You know, I cannot imagine my life without you." I asked, "Why leh?" and he said, "I don't know, we have been together for so long, and there isn't a day that I don't think about you. You just make me happy." 

Of course, I tried to play cool and went SURE NOTTTTTTT (but not before giving him a tiny smile and hand squeeze). You must know that, in our days of courting, Shen was quite the poet — very loud in his choice words. Now he's mellowed to be quite simple and a lot more shy actually. Moments like this still make my heart sing. 

Truth is, I cannot imagine my life without him either. 

(I'm late but) Happy 6th anniversary to my Tan Wei Shen. I like you very much, thank you for liking me too. :) 


It's been a week since we've returned from a 2.5 week trip to Europe (Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Amsterdam, Berlin, London), centred around the most amazing wedding weekend in a castle in rural Scotland to celebrate the unity of our dear Rosemary & Kevin. It was such an unbelievably magical time, and something that we'll remember forever for sure! 

I really enjoyed taking time off work to travel and live it up with my best galpals (especially reuniting with our UK division!), and am also glad that it was yet another Shen & Em adventure. Blessed I am to see the world with my best man.